the more i read up on wedding vendors, the more i see that i could probably never be a wedding vendor. a while back, a friend and i played around with the idea of starting a business centered around ideas, design, and one of the most profitable businesses around - weddings. we thought we could put our imaginative ideas to use and in the process, help out others. you know, for $$$$. but of course, i’ve always had a few reservations. one of the big ones being that i hate schmoopy shit. i’m not very saccharine unless i’m being ironic. i, frankly, don’t know how b handles it, because i feel like more of the cold stereotype of a 1950s husband than, you know, a girl.
so all of that has inexplicably found its way into my wedding vendor search. people who talk about love being a many splendored thing? pass. people who talk about how they want your wedding day to be very “(bride’s name) and (groom’s name). DOUBLE PASS. and in the process, it’s really hard to have someone get to know you and need to convey that knowledge into a wedding date when really, i’m always on my best behavior when interviewing wedding vendors. after all, you don’t want to scare people off with your abject horror at pictures of people kissing. it’s also hard to explain your relationship when what you find funny is how last week, when helping someone shop for b’s christmas present (don’t worry, i doubt he reads this), the lady helping us out was asking how big b’s neck was. instinctively, i put my hands out in front of me simulating strangulation and said, “hrm.. about this big.” i half felt bad about doing this as well as laughing about it (looking like a homicidal psychopath i’m sure), but it was pretty much a half-joke. i guess. so in telling that story to you, my one reader (hi erika!!!), it’s really hard to figure out who we are as a couple without understanding that we’re kind of ridiculously mean to each other. and it’s hard to know that and know why we’re getting married AND figure out a wedding for us.
on that note, happy holidays! we are experiencing a particularly lean holiday as we’re both saving up for the wedding. so my fakesmas native foods wellington, sweet potato mash, and roasted brussel sprouts feast will be my last taste at eating well (and not cheaply). goodbye joy!
