so this week, well, really even this day - i decided i am giving up on wedding planning. people don’t email you back after a fantastic first email exchange. people are too expensive. people want silly things like a solid date and a solid venue. fuck that. i really don’t give a shit anymore about something that may or may not even happen.

i guess more of these things are easier to say fuck off to when you and your betrothed are in super heavy debt. the plan i had for a budget months ago? somehow fallen to the wayside because of unexpected unemployment and depression shopping. oooh that depression shopping gets me every time - the ups and downs of working in pasadena. we also haven’t figured out a polite way to break it to one of the families (hint!) that they’re pretty much not invited (not even disinvited, just plain not invited) to the wedding. family drama - totally my forte, but i really don’t want to have to deal with that as well.

i’m supposed to go look at flowers at the flower market tomorrow to figure out some slap-dash arrangement i can make myself to save money. i’m also supposed to possibly meet with a caterer. and oh yeah, i’m also supposed to figure out a date, come up with the money for a venue deposit, and do EVERYTHING ELSE.

stupid. and the only thing i actually want to do? design our own damn website. and that’s probably the only thing i really haven’t even touched. bah. humbug.