is it horrible to be a little put off by really gummy smiles? i.e. when someone has a huge smile and you see a 3-1 ratio of gum to teeth.

or maybe i’m just being disgusted because i just watched two hours of nyc prep and i want to rip out my eyes. this was, of course, followed by watching apparently four hours of stupid “surprise first wedding” dance videos on youtube. things i learned from that:

1. if you’re going to go one of those surprise “oh we’re dancing to etta james and then you hear the record EEEEEEAAAZZZZZ stop”, please act surprised. a haphazard hand thrown up in the air doesn’t make it believable or good. it’s like acting. if you can’t do it, don’t.
2. don’t choose a song that makes you look stupid, bigoted, or a big horrible stereotype.
3. this evolution of dance stuff is OLD. it’s not unique if every other couple is doing the same exact thing.
4. if you’re going to do a dance number, put in the effort and hire a choreographer and have some vague dance ability. so many sad dancers make so many one-starred videos.
5. if i see the apache dance one more time, i am going to go assassinate the incredible bongo band. oh, and the dude who played carlton on fresh prince of bel air.
6. why try to be a viral video? also, why bother putting the video on the internet if you’re not going to be prepared for really horrible comments. and a ton of “white boy can’t dance” comments. this is to be expected.

drowning myself in soaps, primarily melrose place on cbs.com, because i have no friends. also, because this ‘vicarious living through stories’ seems to work for the time being.

i think i’m going to start doing the 45-minute sleep cycle thing at night again. i remembered not feeling as ass-tired when i was doing that, as well as being able to even sleep a little later at night while still being able to pull myself out of bed in the mornings.

does this mean i’m old?

worst day ever.

got my first csa box of organic vegetables yesterday. plowed through half of the vegetables and realized that kale and my stomach produce things that no man should ever be privy to.

that is all.

i don’t know if i’m too lazy, too scared, or just too tired to start the whole process. because, it would be a long process.

i watched marley and me last night with the kid. cold a heart as she, she fell asleep before the end. i, on the other hand, ran to the kitchen to avoid watching the part where i inevitably started bawling uncontrollably while clutching fdr for dear life.

damn sad dog movies.

imma gonna slap a bitch!